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Instance getting too centralized?
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It's definitely not all that matters, but it's probably the most important at this time.
A wider network is more robust in the long run, but people can always spread out later.
I think expecting individuals to solve this is a mistake. There should be something in the UI or in the backend that either automates this or makes it really really obvious that the preference should be to spread out. The problem will become more and more exasperated as/if more mainstream audiences migrate here (mainstream as in non-technical)
There are more than enough options out there for the normies to be online. IMO It's not insane to require that people give a shit and learn how this works if they get confused.