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this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Fuck Cars
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I like to drive it at 30 miles an hour on the pavements and footpaths, scattering and scaring pedestrians and children. I am too much of a nancy to ride it on the road where it might be me that gets hurt, but at least I have a plastic hat so I don't have to pay attention while I'm driving.
Soon no place outside will be safe from hurtling steel, and we will have won.
I am planning to buy an off-roader, so I can get the vermin who try to hide from the traffic in the parks and gardens.
I ride every day in a bike-heavy commuter city, and I'm confident the fastest thing on the road is a 50yo man made of 50% spandex riding a road bike that cost more than your tuition and weighs less than your wallet.
As long as he's on the road I got no problem with that! A brave man.
Laws of man do not hinder spandex middle aged bike man.