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this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Fuck Cars
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I like to drive it at 30 miles an hour on the pavements and footpaths, scattering and scaring pedestrians and children. I am too much of a nancy to ride it on the road where it might be me that gets hurt, but at least I have a plastic hat so I don't have to pay attention while I'm driving.
Soon no place outside will be safe from hurtling steel, and we will have won.
I am planning to buy an off-roader, so I can get the vermin who try to hide from the traffic in the parks and gardens.
While I story of understand you anger, as there are some fools out there that are using their illegal ebikes effectively as motorcycles on bike paths and sidewalks, they are:
If you're going to get angry, get angry at cars, car-centric infrastructure, and the fact that people on ebikes don't have the proper cycling infrastructure to stay separated from pedestrians.
Don't get me wrong, I've hated and feared cars since I was a boy. But some greenwashing fuckers and their shills in the 'bike lobby' legalising riding motorbikes in what used to be safe places has hardly improved matters.
Now there's nowhere safe to ride a bike or walk, or for children to play.
Fuck cars and fuck motorbikes.
Also, 60 pounds my arse. You might get the odd actual bicycle with a little electric motor attached, but most of them are the same weight and speed as mopeds. And they don't stay "restricted to 20mph" for long.
I ride every day in a bike-heavy commuter city, and I'm confident the fastest thing on the road is a 50yo man made of 50% spandex riding a road bike that cost more than your tuition and weighs less than your wallet.
As long as he's on the road I got no problem with that! A brave man.
Laws of man do not hinder spandex middle aged bike man.