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I believe the condescension you mentioned is real, but it’s magnified tenfold because we're all trapped in media echo chambers. Most normal people aren't obsessing over these niche topics, but the media and political machines weaponize them to keep us divided.
It perfectly exposes the hypocrisy on free speech on both sides. The left’s online gatekeepers treat disagreement as a moral failing, effectively chilling free speech through social conformity. On the flip side, the right screams about censorship while using state power to ban books, police classroom speech and insist that Christianity is the only acceptable religion. Both parties rely on these culture wars to control what we can say and think, all while abandoning any real, material help for the working class.
Republicans have just done a better job of identifying the issues facing everyday people and campaigning on them, but they rarely have a plan to actually fix them. Spencer Pratt's website for LA mayor is a great example of this. While he highlights the exact issues hurting regular people, there is zero substance or realistic plan on how any of it actually gets done.
You're absolutely right that most people wouldn't give a second thought to these topics if right wing media, in particular, makes it seem like these issues are the most important things in the world and society will collapse if we don't do something.