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this post was submitted on 31 May 2026
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Don't worry fam, I have a guaranteed, proven, 3step plan to get your research funded.
Step 1: Create shell company.
Step 2: Create and market protein building protein bars with the ability to "create a compound interest effect" on your protein receptor cells.
Step 3: After company either makes money, is sued, or some combination of both, use the hype to generate interest in your theory as a new "longevity therapy that conventional science doesn't understand" and get the idiots that bought your protein bars to fund the actual research.
The plan is essentially guaranteed to work when it does.
Hah, I've considered making a company doing research, paying myself a big salary, letting the company fail then using the big salary money as a sort of mini reesearch endowment to finish the research. I know the research wouldn't get done fast enough for the VC types to be happy, but if I could save enough money and disappear enough equipment when it all fell apart I might have enough to sustain the research.
Maybe make the building and the research company separate entities let the research company fail but use the money it paid in rent to have a lab. Could even rent out lab space to other companies to fund my own research. Unfortunately, building buildings in areas where research labs tend to be is expensive as hell, and at a certain point the effort becomes more realty management than science.