I mean, that is gardening though. I can't baby things (well, except the jaboticaba I'm trying to bonsai), I just plant things and figure out what works. Winners stay and eventually you get a garden.

Okra and watermelon love the heat here, and the trees do fine. Most food plants I grow in winter though. Well from October through April.

I agree it's really frustrating at times. And the more you micromanage the more it seems to fuck something else up. I started during the pandemic with a little balcony and a ton of containers, filling gallon jugs of water in the sink or tub, filling the watering can, and then watering. It took tons of time, but I had tons of time. I've since moved into a place with a yard and now have a 4x8x4 in ground raised bed, but I'm also now in a place where it will get to 110 F so I put up a shade and the bed is around trees. I'm curious to see what survives once summer hits hard soon. Also in the side yard there's no hose bib, so I had to buy a 100 foot house and run it from the front yard. It's a total pain.

All this to say I have six pots of potatoes, for tomatoes plants in pots, squash, strawberry, basil, thyme and cilantro in the raised bed. It's totally a huge pain in the ass. It's taken me years to learn what to do and what to avoid, and inevitably something gets fucked by bugs or whatever, but it truly is rewarding to have a meal with a bunch of ingredients you grew yourself. The amount of money I've put into it would buy bushels of what I've grown at the store even at current prices, but it brings me joy to go out everyday and look at progress, try different things, and learn from mistakes. I'll be doing it for the rest of my life I'm certain. Planting all natives may be easier for you. I hope you don't give up and end up enjoying one day!