Man, I read Armada, why? Because it was free. I mean I’d heard it wasn’t good, but holy shit I was not expecting just how bad that novel would be. Ernest Cline is a one trick pony and the fact that it worked out so well for Ready Player One, and that a lot of people loved it, was pure luck, but it likely won’t hold up to time.

Cline desperately wants everyone to like the 80s as much as he apparently does and he really wants to show off his 80s trivial knowledge so badly, but no one will sit still to listen to him blather on so instead he wrote this book. It is got more 80s references packed in pound for pound than there is sawdust in chicken McNuggets. Like at first it’s just a quirky ha ha ok this character really likes his dad and his 80s memorabilia and crap, but then the action starts and the 80s references just don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming. He can’t even make it 5 minutes without dropping a reference. “Tense” (yeah, using that real loosely here) moment? Drop a reference. Character bleeding out? Drop a reference and one liner. Major character just died and you’re supposed to be sad? You guessed it, drop a fucking reference.

I only finished that book just so I could fully appreciate how fucking bad that novel was. This had to be the first time I’ve genuinely hate read a novel.

Fuck Cline. He should have kept his shitty writing in the dark so I could have continued to appreciate Ready Player One as a fun little read that I enjoyed so much the first time around I killed the book in one day. Now? I doubt I’ll pick it up again. Especially after that god awful movie.