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this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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“One German brand, the Nestlé-owned Choco Crossies, recently announced it was eliminating cocoa altogether from its new Snack Vibes line, replacing it with ChoViva, a lab-grown chocolate alternative made from fermented sunflower and grape seeds.”
How the fudge did we end up in this dystopian nightmare? ಥ_ಥ
Child slavery is frowned upon just enough that they have eliminated real cocoa. People won’t pay for non-slave rates, so they have to go with synthetic product.
i get a single fair trade dark chocolate bar every week or two & let the squares melt against the roof of my mouth. lately it’s been hu cashew butter & raspberry. usually a couple of squares satisfies my cravings. occasionally i make fudgy brownies with fair trade dutch processed cocoa if i’m really fiending. a chocolatier in a yt video said “eat less chocolate so you can eat a higher quality chocolate” & i took that to heart.
We continued releasing more and more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere for decades after learning that it was causing increasingly extreme weather
Sorry, but I really want to try the fermented seed cocoa. There are non-Nestlé versions and having an option that doesn't exploit child slaves is always a good option.
Choviva is not very good imo. Good enough for some cookies or müsli though, products where the chocolate content is small and not high quality. And I'm someone who is generally charitable with alternatives a la mock meat, cheeses, etc. It tastes like toasty fat.
Cyanide is "natural". Not everything "natural" is good for you. I'm all for alternatives, although as with any other thing, they need to study them to make sure they're safe. Like aspartame, which is one of the most studied substances on earth. It's safe. And it's a fantastic tool to have - saying this as a diabetic, but artificial sweetners gives us the ability to make tasty foods that save calories/carbs, which is something most people can use.
So I don't know about ChoViva in specific, but if there's an alternative to cocoa that doesn't rely on slave labour and isn't harmful… I'm all for it.
By coveting.
There's a scene from Band of Brothers, two GIs meet a French family on D-Day. One of the soldiers offers the boy, 4 or 5 years old, a chocolate bar. The boy smiles from ear to ear when he tastes it. His father says, "Thank you. He's never had chocolate before."
Imagine that. Imagine living in a society where chocolate is considered an exotic food. That's how the world was, for almost all of human history. You live in Norway and you want a lemon? HA! Tough shit, you'll never even know what lemon smells like.
But, at some point, Americans got used to having every delicacy from every corner of the world. We forgot that each nibble of chocolate is exotic. That the beans aren't native to our country. That most people in the world can't afford real chocolate except as a rare treat. And look at us now - just like the rest of the world.
Lab-grown? Lab-GROWN? What fucking part of the metal tank has the growing area?
The hydroponic lab?
Shits like a century old.
Also I don't think the term Lab Grown would really apply in this case. Unless I'm wrong I'm pretty sure the term would be lab synthesized, unless they are just using the materials to rend down into building blocks to grow cocoa artificially via some type of cellular manipulation method.
probably synthesized, sunflower/grapeseed mixture. probably just turn the seeds intoa pulp and made it into faux-colate.
What's wrong with the carob bean?
lol GRAPESEEDS.