My friends and I use spoons, some olive oil in a spoon, grind the weed or break up the hash and put it in the oil, in the spoon.

Heat up with a lighter underneath, or you can hover it over gas hobs. Careful not to spill any of the oil as it heats up and expands a little and you moving the heat around the bottom of the spoon.

It will start to bubble - decarboxylation; once it's stopped bubbling, or bubbling less then it's decarbed. You don't want it to get too hot, just enough to bubble, and then bubbling subside.

Dunk hot THC oil from the spoon into a full fat yoghurt or similar, or full fat milk, whatever - to cool it and help it absorb in you.

And then consume! Takes like 5 mins :)

Edit: just to highlight the "quick and dirty" part of my question 🙏 I'm talking low tek, low effort methods, not aeropressing or distilling crystals or whatever! Think strugglemeals 🤣