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Why did you choose your instance?
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I used Lemmy for a while but now I am planning to exclusively use kbin. It appears to be a way more mature project and is infinitely better UI/UX wise than Lemmy. Moreover it's a project maintained by a fellow Polander and not a bunch of tankies.
The last point you mentioned is one of my biggest concerns.
As it's open source I wouldn't look down on people using Lemmy, but if you are going to use it I'd recommend staying away from the main server/lemmy.ml.
I chose Kbin myself because it's way more like old reddit and I wasn't jazzed with the devs of Lemmy.
Yeah, I think I'm going to switch over to kbin full time. It'll suck not having an app, but the mobile web UI isn't too bad.