See, thats because you don't know how to raise cats. It's ok. Most people don't.

Here's what you do.

Step 1, hire a clown to stand naked in the closet with a chainsaw. You'll need this later.

Step 2, go onto your favorite dating site, find a mate, and spend the night at a hotel.

Step 3, fall in love

Step 4, move in together

Step 5, adopt a few cats. Nothing much. Just a few. 22 should be enough.

Step 6, have your girlfriend go on a fetish dating site and find a guy who's into chastity. She doesn't have to sleep with him ever, but now he'll clean the house, clean the 44 litter boxes daily, cook the meals, tutor your kid in his 2nd grade math homework, tend to the garden, wash the car, clean the gutters, and then sleep in a dog cage at night.

Step 7, anytime the cats start their bullshit, you use a little water bottle to spray them and yell NO! Eventually they'll assosiate no, with being told you don't like what they're doing.

Step 8, fuck with your cats brain. Stare at them wide-eyed. Just dead stare at them without moving a muscle. Eventually they'll get bored, and look away. That's when you start salsa dancing behind their back. Everytime they glance at you, you stop, and stare at them. If they walk away, follow them and stare. Until they look away. Then more salsa dancing.

Step 9, when they fall asleep, wrap your arms around them and cover them in kisses for being such a good cat.

Step 10, do a barrel roll!

Step 11, now when your cat starts crying outside of the door, you stare at them. They should begin to realize you don't like them doing that, and now they stop.

Step 12, from now on, anytime they're annoying, you be even more annoying! But not aggressive. I did not say be violent. I did not say to do anything bad. But if your cat is annoying, maybe you go over and tickle them while making turkey gobble noises.

And that should do it. A house with enough cats, and a free cleaning service to help maintain all those cats!

Now you can get on with your day!

Cats are nature's anarchists and I love them. Would still rather have dogs in the house though.

mosquitos are natures jerks, they prank humans by spreading malaria