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Is there a list of instances that support free speech?
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Free speech means that you can say anything. That's the definition. We put practical limitations on it. For example defamation or calls to violence.
But every single limitation should be carefully articulated and considered. I don't see why a racial slur would violate anyone's human rights.
For example I can go up to someone and insult them for all sorts of things - "you're an ugly stupid worthless piece of trash" and that's ok but I say "you're a dirty [racial slur]" all of a sudden it's different?
If we want to protect people from the effects of words we should raise children with thicker skin - not try and regulate what people can and can't say. Hearing a word does not have to upset you.
If it makes you feel any better, telling someone "you’re an ugly stupid worthless piece of trash" would get you banned from my instance too, so it is not so different.
Universal Declaration of Human Rights says:
So no, you can't say anything.
I think that main problem is not what you personally said, but that they are hearing the same slur all day, every day, from different people.
Frequency they hear it is what makes it problematic.
“your personal liberty to swing your arm ends where my nose begins” but you have to be more understanding to be able and see where their nose is. Sadly, it is a bit closer than expected.