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[-] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 113 points 4 days ago

Unfortunately they aren’t legally obligated to eat your ass.

[-] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 67 points 4 days ago

Yet. Vote for me and I'll make it the law of the land.

[-] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 4 days ago

Finally a politician who supports my interests.

[-] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 19 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Cop 1: * Bang Bang Bang!

"We have a warrant to search the premises for contraband."

Homeowner: "Let me see that warrant. Ok seems in order."

*undoes belt, drops pants, assumes the position. "READY? START EATIN'!"

Cop 2: "This jobs got it's ups and downs that's for sure.

*eats ass with gusto

Cop 1: "Fucking perv!"

[-] hunkyburrito@lemmy.zip 23 points 4 days ago

Is it bad that I interpreted the "bang bang bang" as Cop 1 shooting a gun at first

[-] aeternum 19 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

i... just realised they WEREN'T shooting, because of your comment.

[-] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 days ago

Normal if you are an American.

[-] X@piefed.world 5 points 4 days ago

Doing the work of the people, you got my vote.

[-] GeneralDingus@lemmy.cafe 8 points 4 days ago

Very unfortunate

[-] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 days ago

You could always hand them a spoon, but your results may vary

[-] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

This works best if you complain about your constipation in a sultry voice.

[-] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

Thank you fartmaster

[-] enchantedgoldapple@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 days ago

Happy cake day!

[-] diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

Happy cake day!

this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
570 points (100.0% liked)

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