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What are your red flags? (lazysoci.al)
submitted 1 month ago by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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(Please read the group identity and rules before responding. This applies specifically to men.)

What are your red flags? Of any kind:

  • Romantic
  • Sexual
  • Interpersonal
  • Social
  • Business/Employment
  • ... and a list of thousands more

I'm kind of curious.

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[-] ZDL@lazysoci.al 20 points 1 month ago

Romantic

When dating:

  • treats service staff badly,
  • tries to decree what I will or will not eat/drink,
  • attempts any form of manosphere shit like "negging",
  • spends the entire date talking about themselves,
  • spends a lot of the time saying disparaging things about other people.

Sexual

  • consistently selfish,
  • doesn't pay attention to body language,
  • doesn't pay attention to verbal feedback like "I don't like that",
  • pays attention to verbal feedback ... by trying to tell me what I should or should not like,

Interpersonal

  • always talking shit about other people not present (because you know they're doing the same about you when you're not around!),
  • takes but never gives,
  • borrows but never returns,
  • won't help me move the body.

Social

  • suspiciously non-diverse in makeup (ethnically, religiously, politically, etc.).

Business/Employment

  • poor representation of women and minorities,
  • dismissive of to hostile toward attempts to correct that representation,
  • brusque/rude HR or management,
  • disorganized HR or management,
  • strict dress code,
  • religious symbolism of any kind displayed in shared spaces.
[-] ZDL@lazysoci.al 3 points 1 month ago

I actually forgot a big one, and it will likely be contentious.

Interpersonal/Romantic/Sexual

  • men who call themselves "feminist",

I've seen enough self-proclained "feminist" men who clearly only use the language and the public persona to get laid that this is an automatic red flag for me that makes me dig deeper. If they proclaim their "feminism" completely out of the blue/out of context that red flag turns into a four-alarm fire.

Some prominent examples of what I mean from the public sphere:

  • Joss Whedon
  • Gareth Ward
  • Harvey Weinstein (yes, he publicly proclaimed support for feminism!)
  • John Lasseter
  • Juno Diaz
  • Bill Cosby
  • Charlie Rose
[-] birdwing 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

won't help me move the body

👮🚨🚔

Femme Bureau of Investigations, open up!

the "dismissive of to hostile toward attempts to correct the lack of representation of women and minorities" is a really good one, that filters out a lot of overlapping options

this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
31 points (100.0% liked)

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