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submitted 13 hours ago by j4k3@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

Also, is self empathy even a thing? Is self empathy distinct from self pity?

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[-] Drbreen@sh.itjust.works 11 points 13 hours ago

Self empathy is an oxymoron since empathy is about others by definition. As another said, emotional intelligence seems like a better fit.

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

In abstract, your former self is a different person. You have changed as a product of your environment and you will never again be that person you were in the past.

Emotional intelligence lacks any meaningful specificity and comes across to me as an insult, which is the antithesis of the intent of he post question. Semantics often lack substantive utility, especially within the subject of psychology.

Sorry for another waste of time thing to explore here on Lemmy. I always end up regretting and then deleting this type of good faith post.

[-] Drbreen@sh.itjust.works 5 points 12 hours ago

What waste of time? Are we not just discussing here? Is that what you would've said to me if we were talking face to face?

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

Yes, depending on the tone, I would either confront the perceived slight or avoid talking to you all together.

The last bit about the post, no, I would not say that out loud but would internalize that the group I am in has incompatible abstractive thinking scope for such a casual conceptual subject of interest to me.

[-] Drbreen@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 hours ago

So what you're really asking is. Do I have the capability of looking back at the person that I was 10, 15, 20, 25 years ago and empathising with who I was as being a different person at an abstract level?

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Yes, but it is likely far less pronounced if you've had a reasonably stable life.

I've had the experience of relocating thousands of miles away multiple times in my life, halved my weight, abandoned the dogmatic tribal mythos of my birth, and have been disabled from a broken neck and back due to the gross ineptitude of a terrible driver. That last one forced me to completely reinvent myself.

One of the hardest relevant experiences was relocating long distance then returning some years later. Nothing will be the same upon return. It will feel just as foreign as moving away to the new place did. Such an experience reveals just how much we all evolve with time and how we are a product of our environment.

Something as simple as living on a hilltop versus on a flat floodplain may have a major impact on how you exercise regularly, and that may shape or come to define you in profound ways. Such changes are essentially a different person. Your hormones, interactions, mood, interests, and sleep patterns are collectively what defines you on a fundamental layer.

That person may have made regretful mistakes. Those mistakes may be very different than who you have become and how you might handle them now. The question here in this post is really about how you perceive those regrets or mistakes now. Are they just a regrettable weight on you, perhaps motivational through the negative feedback of self shame? Or, are you empathetic towards that person, trusting that they did their best at the time, in the environment, given the same pressures and constraints; acknowledging the complexities involved well enough to admit you do not know you would be able to do things better now, even after age and experience? In other words, do you see past the fallacy of dichotomous oversimplification of hindsight to see yourself as a real human? There is room for empathy in that reflective abstract perspective.

[-] Maeve@kbin.earth 2 points 11 hours ago

You're not wrong. I hope you leave the post up.

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this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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