It has helped me mentally to understand. Medicine doesn't do much except allow me to get things I just fucking don't care about, done at work.

If I want to be able to enjoy things in my free time I'll have to be up all night, or drink myself asleep.

Please do, it's very helpful in just the knowing aspect and being told explicitly how it can and does affect you. Can help you manage it better even when you're not on meds