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this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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A lot of people pretend so as not to seem rude. Also you never know how the other person will react otherwise.
I know you find enjoyment in it, I'm just saying that planes and such places where people are stuck with you are pretty risky.
And I will respectfully point out that you seem to be arguing entirely from vibes and anecdotes.
You agreed that you never know how the situation goes. And I'm guessing we agree that people are stuck in planes. So why risk it, if you're going to potentially be making the situation suck for the other person, I'm wondering
Because there’s almost no risk involved.
Answers to this question, and more, are provided in some of the links provided.
The chances of making “the situation suck” are exceedingly small. The chances it “goes well” are quite high. A couple friendly words between strangers. A story to tell later.
Of particular note
You seem to completely discount this possibility, while simultaneously overblowing the risk.
It just seems a bit selfish to try and "connect" in a sotuation where they can't leave. I get that it is your thing but at least on a plane it would be bettee to just chill for the duration of it. After all nothing negative about that, they might try to connect with you if they're up for it
There may be a selfish component to it. Doesn’t make it a selfish act.
It’s my thing after I read a few of these papers (you can find the links, and read them if you like, they’re in my other comments) and started giving it a shot.
Yes, you have made it very clear that for you, you believe that this is the case.
The data show that a lot of people feel this way before they try it, but are pleasantly surprised after.
Nothing negative about what? “Being chill?” I think you’ll find that I’m pretty chill.
You seem to think I’m nagging them for the duration, but as I’ve explained, it’s really more of creating an opening.
You won't cause anything negative by just chilling during the flight. Meanwhile, by trying to connect, you might make someone's travel worse. So if you value the fellow passengers, best move is not to risk it, at least not on the plane. Otherwise you're just gambling with their mood, which seems a bit shitty.
There’s a lot of big assumptions built into how you think about risk if the only possible outcomes you can conceive of are negative.
Oh yes the plane. Because of the implication, right?
I just feel bad that your outlook is so sad for all of this.
Well you won't negatively affect them by not interacting with them. They are still free to talk to you, after all. The implication is a good one because they don't know what sort of creep or angry person you might be and how you would react to rejection. You're almost insisting on talking to the people on a situation you know might negatively affect them and where they are stuck in the situation and that just seems odd.
I feel like you’re just reiterating your last comment as though you didn’t read mine.