It sounds like we were similarly inquisitive children, perhaps to the point of making adults uncomfortable.

My European mother is the reason religion didn't fuck me up worse than it did. I was also forced to go to church as a kid, but even within our own family there were differences in thought and opinion that still managed to exist in civil dinner table discourse. My mother seems to have gone through her own questioning process, it just didn't take her to extreme atheism but rather she arrived at more of a mystical Abrahammic monotheism. When I was older, I fell into the trap of religion on my own (Evangelical Christianity) and it's changed the course of my life significantly in both good and bad ways.

A decade to a decade and a half later I'm mostly over it. I'm comfortable with my current belief system and I live life openly and honestly with 95% of people I meet. If I had to describe myself I'd call myself a self-rolled Buddhist-Atheist.

I'm not envious of those Christians with enough of a conscience to realize what's going, but who are reliant on "American Christians(TM)" for their community, support, spirituality/philosophy/introspection. They have difficult and painful decisions ahead of them. You can only ignore your conscience for so long, but the first to defect will be shunned and hated and will likely lose their entire social circles. That happened to me. They will also be susceptible, as we all are, to similar tactics and abuses as those doled out by their former religion. You don't leave and suddenly become a mastermind at spotting abuse of power and become immediately immune. If anyone reading this falls into that category, I would recommend finding a nice, non-religious hobby where you see people from different walks of life on a regular basis. Bicycling groups, social dances, gardening collectives, etc. People are pretty nice outside of the bubble. You'll be okay.