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As annoying as this was, I did get to live out one of my petty fantasies: I had grabbed a coloring sheet for my toddler with some crayons, so I left a nice little note telling this guy that he could now practice staying inside the lines.
This. I would have re-parked it in a parking lot across the street.
IANAL, but I think this is technically grand theft auto. Yeah, the owner is a jackass, but don't do this.
It is not. Theft requires intent to permanently deprive. It is, however, joyriding and most states have a statute against that.
Whatever it is, I'm not risking it. I'm going to leave a passive aggressive note instead of possibly committing major crime.
Just open the door and put that bad boy in drive. Then it's in God's hands or Thor's. Whichever deity you like can take the wheel. No worries.
Just take the keys out and leave them somewhere fun. Like inside the car but out of sight. Or on the base of a parking lot light.
I like your idea much more.