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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Kyrgizion@lemmy.world to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

I just realized the following:

-I am the first in my extended family to have a tertiary education. My parents and grandparents were laborers.

-Despite having two degrees, I've never been able to use either of them

-I spent the next twenty years working various customer service jobs while never actually rising through the ranks.

-Today I'm over 40 and looking at living paycheck to paycheck until the day I die or retire. No-one in my generation with half a brain expects retirement to just, y'know, be there when it's our turn. All of us are waking up to the reality that despite paying into SS for our entire working lives, we will never get even a fraction of what we put in back.

Given these circumstances, how am I supposed to convince my son to continue his education when he's finished with high school? I feel like a liar already for trying to convince him that if he just works hard at something it'll eventually pay off, because I have seen firsthand that this just isn't true?

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[-] Eq0@literature.cafe 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I am a little younger than you are and want to m offer my life perspective first and some thoughts later.

I pursued a higher education because i honestly liked studying and I went into STEM because that’s what I was passionate about. Throughout, I was an outstanding student. I continued after the master with a PhD, then two postdocs then (finally) a foxed professor position. I moved a lot for my job (8 times/5 countries/4 languages other than my own), prioritizing the best jobs over geographic convenience. I’m happy with my CV and my current position. I know I could earn better outside of the academic system, but I enjoy it too much to leave it and the pay is not bad.

Of fellow students, most of the ones i kept in contact with fit into two groups: either their life looks like mine or they preferred being geographically bound and progressed less in their career. Some are teachers. All are happy, none have debt (EU universities). Of my students, we follow them for one or two years after the company of their classes, mostly grave technical jobs in the specialization of their choice.

From my experience, university education in a specific field is not only a meaningful life experience (if you are proactive it usually allows you to travel around on a very limited budget) but also a potential trampoline for a (technical) career. But the situation in the US is more complicated.

  1. the paths are less structured, courses are given in a “pick what you want” fashion. A lot of students get lost in the options, following lower tier courses in a lot of topics and thus having a CV that doesn’t give any specificity.

  2. “greek life” is hailed as the cool path. That’s one way to drink away your college years and float around aimlessly. It could be a path to make meaningful connections in a chosen field, but that’s rare and unlikely.

  3. costs. All my schooling has been done in Europe. The only private university I went to costed 500€/semester. I graduated with no debt thanks to the support of my family, that I can estimate to be under 25K€ over 5 years (mostly rent and food while abroad). That’s peanuts compared to a US higher education cost.

  4. overall less following of the students from the professors. Professors are there to teach, not to offer life advice, while in Europe there is more of a mentoring relationship that evolves. This leaves the students to figure out their path out of university on their own.

I think that of you have a precise plan in mind (example: I want to be a marine biologist in the Bay Area) and you have done your research on how many jobs there are, what they ask for, and how to get the right qualifications, university might still be the right choice. If you come out of high school with no concrete plan, jumping into a college campus will muddy the waters and be stupidly expensive.

Sorry this became so long. Last paragraph is the conclusion…

this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
54 points (100.0% liked)

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