i refuse to give my phone my thumbprint or do a face unlock. i'm not sure if it's still collecting a biometric bullshit on my face, but i have not done it myself.

Then get a Yubikey. Replace “something you are” with “something you have”. It’s not ideal to have two somethings you have as your two factors, but a password to get into the computer to get to the passkey adds an extra layer that makes me comfortable with it.

I'm a luddite here and i insist on it so no one (especially no one trying to violate the united states 4th amendment) can get into my phone without my permission or hacking into it.

In the context of this discussion, it’s one of two factors. But I agree with you when it’s the only factor.