“These numbers can partly be blamed on the Trump tariffs, which I campaigned on being uniquely suited to handling,” explained Carney as he approved the Liberal Party’s new run of ‘Elbows Medium I Suppose’ merch. “Fortunately Canadians won’t have time to blame me as they spend upwards of 10 hours a day scouring job posting websites for new postings.”

“14 hours, if someone is applying for the kind of low wage jobs we’ve allowed Canadian Corporations to fill with Temporary Foreign Workers instead of paying a livable wage,” Carney added.