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this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2025
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Showerthoughts
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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The most popular seem to be lighthearted clever little truths, hidden in daily life.
Here are some examples to inspire your own showerthoughts:
- Both “200” and “160” are 2 minutes in microwave math
- When you’re a kid, you don’t realize you’re also watching your mom and dad grow up.
- More dreams have been destroyed by alarm clocks than anything else
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I apologize if it felt like a personal attack. It was more dripping sarcasm. But the reason for the employees being so randomly located is because there is no incentive from the employer. Where couples work is often influenced by where the other partner works unless you are in the enviable position where both have great jobs. So when someone gets an incredible opportunity on the other side of the country the other spouse does not stay with their job and take a flight to commute each day. They look for work closer to that great opportunity. Similarly someone married to someone in the military which ironically does have incentives to live close by.
You're talking about giant differences in location (cross-country) which, of course, would need some hard decisions to be made. I'm talking about realistic compromises that may have to be made between a couple with very different work locations in the same general area. When I talked about Lincoln vs Omaha, NE, those two cities are an hour apart. But could be a 30-minute commute in opposite directions for each. Maybe one person works in downtown Chicago, while the other works in the O'Hare airport. Maybe people work in two different boroughs of NYC. If the employer incentived an employee to live nearby, what about their family who works across town? Things crumble apart with that.
Not really. If one spouses makes significantly more than the other it makes sense to go near that spouses work and the other one to find a job close by when the local incentive is in place. The distances was just an example to show that decisions of a couple will line up with the major earner and when there is incentive the other will change jobs.
From a financial perspective, and IF one does make significantly more, I guess maybe.
From a relationship perspective, using my 2x 30 minute commutes for workplaces an hour apart example, if I had to take two additional hours out of my day away from home every work day, while my partner had to take 2 minutes... Woof. Even if there's a perfectly logical financial reason that's hard not to feel resentment over.
again the idea is given the incentive the other spouse would find it worthwhile to change jobs by getting an equivalent one local to the others. Remember both jobs are incentivizing living locally not just the one spouses.