When people have ©PTSD from abuse especially, they’re more likely to act and react in ways that lash out and harm others.

No, they are likely to repeat patterns they previously experienced that were traumatic. People only harm others if they give themselves permission to do so. Abuse is almost never accidental. Nearly no one "snaps out of control." Lundy Bancroft, in Why Does He Do That? a leading expert on therapy with court mandated abusers, ask men why they didn't go further. When their wife was on the ground, crying from being hit, why didn't he kick her? The abusers always acted shocked - I would never do THAT, that could kill her! Because they were in control the whole time.

The escalation re: gray rock is called behavior extinction. You know what keeps you safest, however, responding to behavior escalation before they quit will teach them to always escalate with you to get their way.

It may upset you but it is true. It is not my job to caretake or manage your feelings. You manage your triggers, not anyone else. Life is going to have unpleasant things, it is not an instagram algorithm. Tough tiddies, any talk of trauma will be about trauma.