I realize the “guy code” is one of silence. Cheating? Bros won’t say anything or warn anyone, by this code. In fact, the opposite is demanded by that code. Woman do the opposite, that is how the woman code works.

I was not aware of this! I'll have to consult my bro handbook.

The anger here, from you, is 100% expected, but the ordinary nature of that anger doesn’t make women wrong for exposing safety concerns in the dating pool.

What anger I have is directed towards the shitty website that didn't protect their users' very private data, and I assume that's where yours is, too. (And, of course, 4chan, but fuck 4chan all day, every day.)

I don't know anything about your "guy code". I don't view other men as my allies just because we share a gender, and I don't view women as adversaries just because they have a different gender. I try to treat everybody the same regardless of gender. I'm not perfect, of course, since I grew up in the same fucked-up patriarchy as everybody else, but I do my best.

You seem to have very black-and-white thinking.

Cheating should be exposed, always.

I'm actually neutral on this statement. I haven't had this experience, but if I knew that a friend was being cheated on, I think that the appropriate thing to do would be to inform them. If both the cheater and the cheatee were my friends, that would make things harder, and I would have a dilemma. If my friend is the cheater and I'm not friends with the cheatee, then I'm minding my own business. Again, though, I haven't had this experience, so it's hard to say what I would do for sure.