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Women Dating Safety App 'Tea' Breached, Users' IDs Posted to 4chan
(www.404media.co)
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this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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This is a safety feature of women social groups for time immemorial. It’s a piece of how we survived prior to the last 50 years, and it continued as we moved forward into the era of liberation. We talk to each other.
I realize the “guy code” is one of silence. Cheating? Bros won’t say anything or warn anyone, by this code. In fact, the opposite is demanded by that code. Woman do the opposite, that is how the woman code works. I’ve witnessed fallout in friend groups when these diametrically opposed codes meet on regards to another friend. Apparently, having lunch with the cheated on woman and letting her know what is happening is applauded by women and enraging to men.
The piece regarding cheating is about integrity and treating people right in addition to safety. The rest of it is usually just about safety.
We survived millennia between being treated like prized horses. uteruses/vaginas with life support systems attached, and animals to be beaten, by talking to each other. Warning each other. Helping each other, where able.
The anger here, from you, is 100% expected, but the ordinary nature of that anger doesn’t make women wrong for exposing safety concerns in the dating pool. Given the myriad of diseases, including the incredible comeback of syphilis the last couple years, cheating is also a safety concern. Cheating should be exposed, always.
I was not aware of this! I'll have to consult my bro handbook.
What anger I have is directed towards the shitty website that didn't protect their users' very private data, and I assume that's where yours is, too. (And, of course, 4chan, but fuck 4chan all day, every day.)
I don't know anything about your "guy code". I don't view other men as my allies just because we share a gender, and I don't view women as adversaries just because they have a different gender. I try to treat everybody the same regardless of gender. I'm not perfect, of course, since I grew up in the same fucked-up patriarchy as everybody else, but I do my best.
You seem to have very black-and-white thinking.
I'm actually neutral on this statement. I haven't had this experience, but if I knew that a friend was being cheated on, I think that the appropriate thing to do would be to inform them. If both the cheater and the cheatee were my friends, that would make things harder, and I would have a dilemma. If my friend is the cheater and I'm not friends with the cheatee, then I'm minding my own business. Again, though, I haven't had this experience, so it's hard to say what I would do for sure.
Okay so you're now mad about some perceived social convention that you think all men follow. Ironic.
If one of my friends was cheating on his girlfriend and I knew I would definitely tell her, why wouldn't I? Of course, the likelihood is that if they were the type to cheat on their girlfriend they're probably not the sort of person I'd be hanging out within the first place.
So you're now self-selecting for obnoxious people who think that women are just trophies. But that's not "guy code" that's just crap people, and there are absolutely women who will cheat on men and their friends will cover it up and say things like "ooh what happens in Ibiza/Vegas".