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I don't understand physics so this is credible to me
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This, too: if E = hc/λ and E = mc², then we can combine both as hc/λ = mc². Rearranging this shit you get m = h/λc. Since h/c = 2.2*10⁻⁴²kg*m, you'd get:
...BLOODY ULTRAVIOLET IS MAKING ME FAT!