And ultimately, if the relationship becomes abusive, they won't just take it.

That's where the analogy fails for me. You can't leave a state unless you enter a new state, a new abusive relationship.

People have wanted to improve their living spaces and communities for longer than we've had recorded history.

I get when people are proud of their city or ethnicity or dialect group or religion or football club or what ever. There have always been imagined communities (communities where you don't know everyone but feel connected due to a shared identity) and that's what modern nation stated exploit. They creat a shared identity by lumping everything together, diminishing local differences to creat an artificial imagined community based on forced commonalities and destroy the plurality and diversity "home" could be.

Thanks for listening to my TEDtalk