This sounds like, in the best case, it’d be like one of those Christian alternative-rock festivals, organised to demonstrate that you don’t need the Devil’s music to have fun, where you have bands playing watered-down, Jesused-up versions of punk/emo/metal and some dad in Vans and a studded belt taking the mike between bands to tell everyone that the raddest thing is to obey your parents and abstain from drugs and premarital sex.

A more likely scenario, though, would involve this being to some extent an anti-wokeness hate rally, with conspiracy theories about how the foundations of Western Civilisation are under threat from the gays and communists and, of course, (((those people))).