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Facebook advertised a professional child kidnapping service to me
(www.nextstepyouthtransport.com)
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I’ve only been able to make it to page 10. People often mock the idea of being “triggered” but fuck, it makes me need my trazadone. I want to print this in full color and leave it everywhere I can.
It’s great - I actually shared it as one of the links in my post. People do need to know what these places look like, and that visceral reaction I have to it hopefully means that it inspires others.
Don't judge yourself for a ptsd reaction. People mocked triggers, but it was people who don't understand that acute reminders of traumatic experiences are not merely unpleasant
Yeah - I wish more folks understood what the experience is like. It’s like my brain lights on fire. I get angry, extremely angry and can be verbally really aggressive. If I’m alone, I can usually self regulate, but when I’m around others it’s much harder.
It’s been a struggle as I work to get this facility shut down. When I’m calling state agencies to get my torturer’s facility investigated, the second that I can pick up that they don’t believe, or if they minimize my experience - it ratchets me into a world of pure anger and panic.
I knocked over a container earlier and it made a loud sound as it landed on the ground - it made me angry. Embarrassingly ridiculously angry. It’s stupid, but I had the urge to throw the thing at the wall! I wanted to cuss it out! It’s an inanimate object, it didn’t break, I just needed to pick it up and put the pencils back in. It wasn’t a big deal. But in that split second where I went to that lizard brain, I was furious!
Have you ever been to a support group for this? What you're describing is a pretty severe ptsd reaction. I know you said elsewhere that you've done a lot of mental health stuff and it's not helped and has been furtherly traumatic, but having other people who can listen and you can know that they do understand might be good for you.
I made it to chapter 60 over the last 90 minutes.
I can’t even describe how angry I feel about that. Expletives don’t fit. I’m not big on death penalty, but I think these people deserve it - more than some who are sentenced to death.
I also am feeling incredibly grateful that my parents didn’t get caught up in the scam.
wtf
is this real? I didn't read past whenvhe was given anti lice to shower, but can you tell me : are yhe parents responsible for this ?
Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, this makes no sense to me.
Thank you for taking the time to write that. I can understand those circumstances, what I can't wrap my head around is the methods described. Children need acceptance and love, on top of discipline; not punishement.
American culture fetishizes "tough love" often at the expense of empathy. Its why our culture bounces between "beat children and make them work" and "we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas". These institutions peddle the idea that parents are too soft on bad kids and since it fits our cultural narratives parents and judges often fall for it. This leads to overcorrection ("just talk it through with kids without punishment or consequences") that reinforces the narrative.
There's also this idea that teenagers arent really people with rights yet. Like, its insane to me that one can force a 16 year old into such a place against their will. They aren't adults yet, but they're close and deserve basic rights. But we have a strong cultural feeling of pater potestas when it comes to underage people.
Thank you for sharing this. Probably one of the hardest reads of my life, it's incredibly powerful and well written so it conveys the horrors of the experience in an almost visceral way.
It also really helped me understand at a much more personal level how these addiction/reeducation camps and cults break people mentally and emotionally.
Sure, you read about these kinds of things happening in the news, but it never hit home for me what that experience is like until reading this.
Thank you.
I just spent a couple hours reading the first 70 chapters. That is hard to read and impossible to stop reading.
NOOOOOOOO
Oh my god he became a drug kingpin
ive been reading this for about 5-6 hours, it's been worth it
Finished it
Wait I don't recognize that. Fuck, it's longer and I'm gonna have to read it again
This is so engrossing. I've made it to chapter 77 while "working". What a story.
The energy tied up in all of that is so familiar. Just the entire vibe of senseless unmitigated cruelty and mindless nonsensical screaming hits so hard and reminds me so much of some of the shittiest people I've encountered in my life. What Joe describes feels like a horrible distillation of something that's a lot more pervasive than any one 'school' or cult or particular group of organized assholes systematically ruining people's lives. It hit hard. Thanks for sharing it.