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Facebook advertised a professional child kidnapping service to me
(www.nextstepyouthtransport.com)
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Have you ever been to a support group for this? What you're describing is a pretty severe ptsd reaction. I know you said elsewhere that you've done a lot of mental health stuff and it's not helped and has been furtherly traumatic, but having other people who can listen and you can know that they do understand might be good for you.