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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world to c/lgbtq_plus

Hello!

Making this post to check in on other asexual spectrum people. Curious how attraction works for you?

Recently discovered the term "side" and feel that fits well. Always felt obligated for penetrative sex, liked servicing but awkward when things done to me.

Been with men and women. Recently with someone could not be more my type but could not perform. Twice. Wanted to (or so I thought) but it was wanting to be a people pleaser.

When it clicked. Dont like sex. Enjoy things around it, watching partner reactions,kissing, cuddling, performing oral, but actual? It feels like pulling teeth.

Searched and searched and this seems to be a hard Google. 🤷

What prompted me to make this post.

Asexual people what has been your journey of self acceptance? How does attraction works for you? How have partners been about understanding it?

Thanks for the responses.

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[-] zea_64 2 points 3 days ago

Being with my girlfriend can get me in the mood for sex, but otherwise I'm indifferent. My sex drive's a lot lower than it used to be and that's been a good thing for me because before it just felt like a bodily obligation and gross.

When I do have sex, it's mostly just for the emotional experience with another person. The physical pleasure is pleasant too I guess, but alone it's kinda boring. I just like seeing them happy :)

Took me a while to accept the label, given I do technically enjoy sex. Eventually I realized demi matches my experience decently well.

this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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