It's definitely a difficult road. Fwiw though, even here in the rural south, there are people that either don't care, or do care in a positive way. There's also those that fetishize, but that's not positive at all imo.

My buddy Spider is currently dating a trans woman, and has in the past. He's a bit of a dipshit, but I think he said it better than I ever could: "The fuck should I care of someone is trans or not? It isn't about that, it's about being with someone that loves you, and you love them. Anything else is fucking fluff."

I agree with him. Long term, the only thing that matters is the people involved being compatible on the big stuff. The little stuff, everyone has to work at anyway. I just don't see being trans as big stuff in this context. I know some people do, and there's really no way to change that, but I'm optimistic that will change over time.