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WomensStuff, how easy is it for you to be assertive?
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Being conflict averse is something a lot of women struggle with. Have you always struggled with it?
Yes, as far as I can remember. I experienced what is called "adverse childhood experiences" growing up, so that might have played a role 😅 I was actually forced by a stepparent to be more assertive, I would be criticized or punished for not speaking loudly enough or confidently enough. (Later, I was also criticized for appearing too confident and authoritative - there was no way to be right or safe.)
So I would say I struggled with assertiveness and then was sorta trained to overcome it, which resulted in becoming an unpleasantly critical person who is by nature shy but under stress can react with critical correctiveness that comes across as assertive. But I don't particularly like being that way, it's not exactly the same as being self-confident or assertive, it's awful.