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Egg prime directive
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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Not to "true scotsman" this, but the egg prime directive isn't saying you can't have those conversations with people.
This person notably didn't say "my trans friends told me I was an egg, so I tried HRT just to shut them up." It sounds like they were aware it was an option through conversations where it wasn't pushed at them. This person made their own choice.
The egg prime directive is saying that you don't get to declare someone else's identity for them. You don't get to make that choice for them. It's about consent.
I think most of us would agree that it would be abhorrent to tell someone who is asexual that they just haven't found the right partner yet and clearly they're homosexual (or straight or bi) in denial. I see it as the same thing.
And the online culture of labelling other people as eggs is so far removed from the concept of "trying to help someone figure out who they are" that I have a very hard time taking this in good faith. C'mon, of course there are different rules for socialization online vs in person vs with friends.
The egg prime directive makes zero sense in a world of cisnormativity where nobody is allowed to explore gender and arrive at the conclusion that they are, indeed, cis.
Instead, everyone is cis by default, and for some reason some people on the internet decided it was evil to suggest to people showing non-cis traits or behaviors that they, indeed, may not be cis. Sometimes, if someone who insists they're cisgender hangs out with trans people, knows all the trans lingo and has opposite sex OCs and fantasies about being the opposite sex, you've gotta throw a reality check their way. It would be murder not to.
I think, though, some people are too eager to throw out what they think is a reality check. Like in the post above, some are terrified of letting other trans people suffer (rightfully so), so they paint with too broad a brush and insist that someone must simply be in denial. I watched MLP, I like cute art and flowers and scented candles, and make female characters in video games because they get better fashion options. Does that mean I’m trans and denying it? No, it doesn’t.
It’s a delicate topic, and I won’t deny that there is a lot of stigma and social momentum against having these kinds of honest conversations about oneself. I’m just afraid that young people who are still trying to figure out who they are might get the wrong idea about themselves if people keep insisting that because you might like the color pink you must therefore be trans.
The prime directive doesn't apply to you. You already questioned your gender and found the truth. In Star Trek terms, you're a warp-capable society. Even if you decided to stay on your home planet.
The egg prime directive is, according to the name, about hiding information from people who haven't thought about it.
The cost of misgendering a cis person is that they feel weird. The cost of maintaining the prime directive for an egg is they might commit suicide.
Let's be clear that is an assumption. I understand that there is a shit ton of fake astroturfing going on, but not every single story of detransistioning is lies.
For a more personal experience point to this:
When I was a teen, transness wasn't really talked about, so a cis male being un-masculine "had to" mean they were gay.
Cards on the table, I'm bisexual. But only for a single digit number of men. I'm effectively cishet.
But with how many times I heard that I must be gay, from bullies, from well meaning folks, from strangers... it added significant additional turmoil to my toughest times as a teen. Suicidal ideation tough times.
And now, over a decade and a half later, I'm still not a particularly masculine man in a standard ass cishet marriage with a kid. And I'm happy and comfortable in my identity.
So I have a tough time hearing this repeated narrative of "there's no downsides!"