37
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2025
37 points (100.0% liked)
ADHD
10394 readers
119 users here now
A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Hell no. So many people think "it's not real, you just need to try harder", or they think "it's real, so I need to look even closer for any mistakes or sloppiness" and develop confirmation bias
If you need accommodations, I would go through HR, and I'd probably wait until after the fact even if that weakens your legal protections
I might confide in my boss eventually, but probably by telling them without telling them - I'll tell them my brain works in a weird way, that I need to walk to process information, that I need music/videos playing in the background because it actually helps my focus
Regardless, I've even been warned off by older co-workers (I failed a drug test for my meds, even though I brought the bottle) who said even if it's illegal some people will try to get rid of me anyways
You should never confide in your employer. Employment is an adversarial relationship and people have gotten fucked over by bad bosses for disclosing things they really shouldn't've. Only disclose information if it's advantageous to you.
That bloody confirmation bias.
I was a model employee for many years. Every review was, "you're one of our brightest, keep doing what you're doing". Then I requested some accommodations for my chronic migraines, and they put me under a microscope. Suddenly I was still getting the most complex work because I was the only person they trusted to do it, but now it was an issue that I didn't churn through change requests as fast as other employees who only do simple bug fixes.
When I got diagnosed with ADHD I thought it would give me some breathing room if I told them. That just made it worse. Now I had to be on a management plan. Now every review was laser focused in churn rate, and completely ignored all my above-and-beyond contributions.
I think their long term plan was to either make me give up accommodations or leave, because they didn't want anyone else thinking they could get "special treatment".
Yup. I'm glad I had this cool as Caribbean co-worker who now and again would "teach me the facts of the world" when I first entered the workforce
The world ain't fair, you gotta play the game. It saved me so much learning through failure - sometimes you gotta slow down so you have room to pull a miracle out of your ass. Sometimes you gotta play it close to the vest. Manage their expectations and they'll be grateful, give them your all and they'll only ask for more
It's so very true. I add at least an hour, if not a day, before I commit something - unless it's an emergency. Then I pull out the stops and drink a pot of coffee, and they worry about losing me, because my normal pace is enough that they get new features and when the chips are down and they're losing money I'll find fix it today, if not tomorrow morning
You have to know when to drag your feet, when to pull out the stops, and what you need to keep to yourself. They don't care that I keep my mornings for myself, don't come to meetings, and occasionally can't be reached for a day... To then I'm a miracle worker, not a workhorse. They're happy with my output, because I balk at anything that takes more than 5 minutes and under promise, then over deliver. But when they're panicking, I tell them I'll make it work no matter what it takes. And I still wait an hour if it didn't take me all night
People beat workhorses to make them go faster, they fear losing a magician. Magicians are eccentric. They're allowed to demand accommodations - but you have to keep up the mistique. Otherwise you're just a flawed workhorse, because people are kinda stupid, managers and owners especially so
A workhorse seems replaceable, even if they're better than the magician
It's a learned skill... I've fucked it up in the past and broke the illusion by coming through too quickly once it became an emergency. But if you have knowledge they don't, they don't know what takes how long anything takes, even technical people. You have to play it up, because once the magic is broken for any reason, you're now a lazy workhorse
Humans are fucking dumb. Manage expectations properly and reality is secondary, optics are everything.
Sounds like a shit place to work for. Hopefully, you found somewhere better.
It was pretty good before all that happened. I've moved on now though, because it wasn't going to improve and the culture was generally going in the wrong direction.