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this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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This just makes me sad because I spent more than a decade trying to be patient and kind with her crazy level 10 where me trying to separate during an argument by leaving the apartment would result in her trying to trap me in the apartment, physically restrain me from leaving, saying I never loved her, threats of suicide and trying to make me watch her self-harm or listen/watch to a suicide attempt (once I made it out the door I would have endless phone calls with nothing but the sound of her smashing up the apartment and saying she was busy trying to kill herself). The final straw was her trying to kill herself with my cancer medication, it felt like she was trying to kill both of us.
I spend every day feeling like I wasn't strong enough and I failed her. I feel like I gave my life to her and I failed her and my life isn't worth anything now.
This sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. My ex did the same exact stuff. There are a lot of books about it. "I hate you, don't leave me" is a really great book to read. Helped me out a lot with my ex.
Borderline, Bipolar II, and untreated ADHD because the bipolar meds she was on conflicted with any potential ADHD meds.