my (18f) sister (13f) is convinced i don’t care about her, how do i convince her i do? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by drbollocks to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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a lot of the time, i’m either busy doing something where i literally cannot respond or overstimulated.

when i’m overstimulated, i physically cannot talk or barely register what someone’s saying. i also have trouble understanding out loud speech for some reason, where i’m listening but can’t process the words.

when my sister asks or says something, i often ask her to repeat it because it’s a lot of information. she says something like “never mind, you don’t care anyway, it’s not important” when i ask to be repeated.

she doesn’t care when i told her why i need it to be repeated.

she also thinks i’m mad at her all the time, gets frustrated when i don’t talk (because im incapable), and starts talking badly about herself when i don’t laugh at her humor (which consists of loud screeching and tiktok “brainrot” words)

since then, i decided to feign laughter so she’ll not think i’m upset with her.

i do try to be there for my sister, but there’s times where i cannot or just can’t talk.

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[-] drbollocks 5 points 1 day ago

i will, thank you so much. i told her she could watch tv with me. would it be rude to tell her to stop playing screaming videos because i don’t like those videos ?

[-] reallyzen@lemmy.ml 4 points 14 hours ago

You can't deny what she likes ; what you can do is ask her to explain: what is it about it that resonates with her? Can we sit down, turn the volume way down, and spend a few minutes checking out her fav's in that style while she tells you why she likes that stuff?

(The subtlety here is not asking her to justify herself, but to explain to that out-of-the-loop, quite-geriatric Dear Bro)

Her answers don't matter much - what matters is asking her to view the topic critically, and verbalise it that so that you "get" that side of her.

Also, "I love you but I fucking hate that shit" can work you know.

Good luck.

[-] Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 13 hours ago

Try to so something somewhat special. Maybe somewhere quiet, then you can listen to her more easily, right?

Special is anything that you don't usually do.

[-] TheMinions@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 22 hours ago

No, spending time with someone means doing something you both enjoy. At least it is in my book.

My 7 year old son generally understands that when we watch TV or movies together we all pick a family show or movie to watch together, and not just whatever he wants. Or if someone vetos a suggestion you counter-offer as well.

So if she suggests brain rot, you suggest something you both might like. The Wild Robot recently came out on streaming and was a really great movie. She might like that if you are hurting for movie ideas.

this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2025

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