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this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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Haha that reminds me of a conversation I was having with a friend once upon a time where I said something like: "I just want to meet someone that wants to spend Saturday night at home watching series and smoking a joint. But that person for me probably doesn't exist." And my friend responded with "Nah, they do exist but they're busy spending Saturday nights at home watching series and smoking a joint, so you'll never meet."
Also, small towns fucking suck and this is not a generational thing. You're stuck between a rock and hard place where the same people who are telling you about the 'bro code' and enforcing it on others, are all playing musical chairs with each other's boyfriends and girlfriends because the dating pool is so small.
If there's another piece of advice I could give you, fuck the bro code. It's a lie. None of these assholes will follow it themselves when the opportunity comes up for them and you'll be the only idiot trying to stay 'honourable'. Very few people that you ever meet have never dated someone before, so you're going to be always dating somebody's ex and you're going to be always breaking the code anyway whether you like it or not. And in a small town, you can't afford to pass up opportunities for the sake of assholes that you'll probably not even be friends with 10 years from now. And who would do the same to you without a second thought.
Also, I don't know if you saw my edit but I can't say this enough. Keep the heavy shit about marriage and children to yourself. Keep it light. Coming on too strong is the biggest romance killer. Try to put that shit out of your mind until much later in the relationship, if you can.
Side note: I once asked a local in a certain small, tourist-favorite island community what the "dating scene" is like (mainland only via ~2hr ferry or private air/water craft), and they replied: "Well, some 'ship it in' with visitors ferried over now & then, but mostly? We just wait our turn."
I'd lived on the island for several months by then, and I noped the fuggout mere weeks later. Ain't nobody gonna find Love fishing in that mud puddle — especially if it's still warm from the last go. 😶