this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
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egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topics
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I don't really think doing it behind their back is really much better, like I could see that as trying to influence people to treat them differently without them knowing why. Maybe for some it could be a funny story if they end up coming out as trans but if they're not trans it'll just be real awkward, and if they find out about it, they might feel betrayed that people talked about them and misgendered them behind their back.
That's a big way I think people misunderstand the egg prime directive. In my opinion it should be that you do not presume their gender, you may try to help them feel comfortable and understand different genders but you must let them come to it. To presume is bad because it's trying to know them better than they know themselves. But you can't know them better than they know themselves. The internal thoughts, feelings, and desires of another person are... internal. They can't truly be known or understood by others.
Obviously you might think it, just like someone might accidentally misgender someone in their mind without saying it, but you need to not express those thoughts. It's ideal you don't think them in the first place, but "Don't think of a pink elephant" and all that. To start thinking and believing yourself that you know someone else is trans when they don't identify that way or haven't told you is risky, and probably should be avoided.