So ok, these are just quasiparticles. Yes, we could have quasiparticles that behave like actual particles. Yes, it's just an abstraction. Yes, we can go batshit crazy in abstraction space and come up with anything.

This reminds me how some folks in ScientificAmerican modeled black hole with a vortex in water and found supersonic wave, which brought them to conclusions about possibility of passing through event horizon in actual black hole. bah.

In other words, when do I get some money to build a quantum quasiparticle computer and finally hack elliptic cryptography?

Though, as Rice alumni, can't deny still always awesome publicity of that university.