got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a year ago, at 21 years old. combined with severe burnout from my senior design project, I realized all my prior methods of motivation were ultimately unsustainable and meaningless.

I've been reading so many books and they've honestly saved my life. zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance totally shifted my perspective on what actually matters--honorary mention here for dune: chapterhouse as well. stone butch blues made me, as a gender queer individual, feel seen in a way that I've never felt before. and lord valentine's castle showed me a path out of the darkness.

slowly I've been piecing together the various parts of my life. the most important thing for me recently has been avoiding excessive phone time. I realized our society is severely addicted and it's slowly killing our communities. I've been replacing my phone time with hobbies and crafts. I got into model making recently and I've been making miniatures of all of my furniture!! and I've been embroidering my clothes! felt lonely the other day so I added a little cardinal to my favorite shirt :) I highly recommend picking up some acrylics, brushes, and mini canvases and following a bob ross tutorial!

yes there is no inherent meaning in anything, but all that means is you get to create your own meaning and no one can tell you you're wrong!!!! stop commodifying your life and start living it!