Being sent back to try again is not wasting time, its giving the player the opportunity to learn and grow.

I think a large part of why so many people think that some games punish the player by wasting their time is because for lower skilled players (like myself), getting hit is a death sentence, and so we focus our efforts on not getting hit. But then, because we're focusing more on not getting hit than we are hitting the enemy, the fight takes an eternity. And because the fight takes an eternity, the enemy has that many more opportunities to get a couple hits in, and now that 20 minutes that I've just spent dodging Lady Maria's attacks have been wasted. I didn't learn anything in that attempt, because I was busy trying not to get hit. It's basically impossible to break out of that mindset on your own, because by default the game trains you to avoid getting hurt at all costs.

This is also why I love Sekiro so much. That instinct to not get hit can be expressed through deflecting. Deflections move the fight along just as much as attacks, and also I'm sitting right next to the boss so I'm able to get attacks in more easily without putting myself at risk. Altogether, this means boss fights don't take an eternity.

Video games are the only medium where someone can be denied progress based on their skill. That is their major draw. If you don't like this, you probably don't like video games and I recommend you try movies and books instead of trying to turn video games into them.

This is an incredibly Fromsoft Fan attitude. There's a reason you never hear people make these complaints about games like Dying Light or Mass Effect. Are most games just too movie-like for you?