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What is a human behaviour you've never understood?
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this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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Counting someone else’s tragedy as a personal blessing AKA when the privileged make someone else’s tragedy about them.
“I’m so blessed” whilst looking upon someone who’s struggling with mental or physical issues/homeless. And they explain it as their way of having gratitude.
I’m all for the gratitude lists but it’s not meant to be another channel wax on the narcissism and quell esteem issues by comparing yourself to others. Need a benchmark to know you’re doing well? Compare yourself with where you were yesterday. Not where someone else is today.
Esteem boosts shouldn’t come at the cost of pulling attention from someone else’s tragedy to pat yourself on the back.
Interesting take. When someone says they are blessed or grateful for whatever reason (even in the context of another's tragedy), I see it more as acknowledging how much of our own circumstances are outside of our control, a perfectly normal and healthy thing to recognize and nothing to do with boosting one's own self esteem.
If you so much as bring up someone else’s tragedy especially when it’s in their presence, you respect and pay attention to them and their tragedy.
Taking it and making it about something you want to be grateful for diminishes that. It’s appropriating their tragedy.
It’s not about you.
It’s about them.
This is among the learned narcissistic qualities we all picked up where making things about self where it’s not appropriate. It’s also a common thread in bigotry to see tragedy and be grateful we can afford to eat/not be of a class or gender or struggle another person is going through which should really be about them.not us.
In those circumstances of acknowledging, we look for ways to help them.not just walk away and talk about ourself. I think this is one of the big motivations of current problems such as bystander effect and disassociation.
If you are actively helping a person who is in that circumstance that is a good step.but if you merely take away that you compare yourself to it, you are part of this very prevalent reason why these problems still exist and are diminished as important and acknowledging why it’s important.
We should be succeeding together. Not walking on the heads of others . That’s not something to be grateful for.