Hmm... I think it's important to recognize how you feel and how you relate to the traits that autistic people have. For example, I like to read about the experiences of others and think about if they sound at all familiar to me. Maybe it can help you, too. It makes me feel less alone - I often have a bad case of imposter syndrome because those closest to me always say I don't "act/look autistic" and that I'm "overthinking", among other things. I don't have an official diagnosis, so it can be really hard to deal with some days.

What I want to say is... there's a lot of variety and intensity even as you age, that's why it's a spectrum. You don't have to look at yourself from a neurotypical perspective. You aren't lesser or fake for not matching the stereotype. :)