I think you need to take a step back and think for a moment. Putin and Xi exist in entirely different economic systems, Putin in a Neoliberal Capitalist economy and Xi in a Socialist Market Economy, calling both "fascist" just displays ignorance towards what makes up fascism. I recommend reading Blackshirts and Reds by Dr. Michael Parenti.

Secondly, calling yourself "an actual Leftist" and using the word "tankie" without irony is goofy. Marxism is a real branch of Leftism, Anarchism doesn't have a monopoly on Leftist politics. If you want to learn more about Marxism, I made an introductory reading list on Marxism-Leninism. It even has Blackshirts and Reds in section 1.

Thirdly, the idea that Marxists "kiss the ass" of Xi and Putin is silly. Going against the western narrative doesn't mean worshipping anything going against it.

Really, all this reads as you trying to avoid having to tackle with Leftist ideas and stay in the bubble of liberalism.