465
submitted 11 months ago by absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/28088684

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] iii@mander.xyz 6 points 11 months ago

They're dated no? Infowars and the onion?

[-] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 40 points 11 months ago

The Onion got new owners earlier this year, and they seem serious about making it a sharp and relevant publication

[-] iii@mander.xyz 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Good luck to them! A barrier to overcome

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

"Dear Onion readers. We here at the Onion can take pride in releasing regular quality absurdist humor in the form of satire news. In recent years real life events have pushed the boundries of absurdism. We'd recently published such articles as 'Thanksgiving politics ends in nine year old comitting manslaughter' to which 3 years later would seem less of absurdism, and more of a thing that actually happened. What we're trying to say is, we would just love it if the real world could just stop being so stupid. We are trying to create dumb articles which rely on the concept of presenting a perspective that lowers the bar. How are we supposed to do that when the now president elect was seen for months spouting off the dumbest bullshit? I mean really America.....eating cats and dogs? Maybe the boomers were right. Maybe marijuanna SHOULD be illegal. With rise of legal weed, you all clearly voted while high. How are we supposed to lower the bar of intelligence, when we're limboing underground?"

This is how I'd write the next Onion article.

[-] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago

I mean the Onion was overshadowed only because real life went off the rails and became a parody of itself.

[-] Donkter@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

The onion was overshadowed because it stuck to an old media style and had a clunky adaptation to the internet. They've got good content now with things like Click Hole and some YouTube content but it was many many years of trying to be an online newspaper and nothing else. The saving grace of The Onion and why it's able to come back as strong as it has been is that it's the holy grail for comedy writers so it still gets the best writers in the business.

[-] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 3 points 11 months ago

yeah the jokes were already pre-written and delivered. there was no commentary to make. no twists or turns to point out the absurdity as the real news was already bonkers

[-] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

This is an excellent way for both to become suddenly relevant.

this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
465 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

18411 readers
1250 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS