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this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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imagine taking this story, about where a woman was systematically drugged and raped for OVER 10 YEARS, and going "ah yes but what about the men?!?". I truly feel for the men in the comments sharing their stories, and I hope they continue to share and raise awareness, but Jesus y'all not the time
Take your own fucking advice. If men talking about their own rapes triggers you so, then you are the same crap you are crying about. You are sexist beyond belief.
It's never the fucking time for male abuse victims to speak up and tell their stories, we're always told to shut up and deal with it.
It's never time to break the status quo, even if it means liberation for those considered in minority groups (in this case people assaulted by women vs people assaulted by men). I'm paraphrasing a MLK article passed around a few weeks ago.
RIP MLK. All the love
If he were alive and protesting today you'd be whining about how white lives matter too and he's a racist asshole who thinks white people deserve to be lynched. Fuck off
Who are you referring to here? A specific person or Americans in general?
The person I'm replying to, though tbf I don't actually know if they're racist like that, but they and a lot of people in this comment section are speaking out against this protest about a woman who got raped constantly and rape culture against women and trying to make it about the issues men face. it's all very "I'm white and i got harassed by a cop, so this protest about police shooting a black child should be about me too"
Yeah exactly. I'm a man who was assaulted as a kid by a woman. Shit happens. But looking at what shit happens most often - it's sexual violence perpetrated by men against women.
I don't know how we change that. Maybe by continuing to level up the power dynamic between men and women, I feel like we've been making some progress with that over the past century. Finally. But it's more than that, there are too many idiot arseholes who think they can have anything their fists can beat down. Almost all of them are men.
Pretty much every girlfriend and female friend I've ever had has had bad experiences with men. Women I have cared about over the years have had experiences across the spectrum from cat calling and comments back when they were kids in school uniforms all the way through to stranger rape. Domestic violence isn't uncommon either.
I dunno, I wish I had a solution. It fuckin breaks my heart - when a close friend or a partner opens up about what happened to her and there's nothing you can do, it's years too late, you have these thoughts like if I'd been there I could have stopped it- but it happened years ago and you are fuckin helpless to do anything except maybe hug her if she's comfortable with that, or if not try to tell her it's over, she's safe and stronger now, whatever you think might help.
You don't realise how harmful sexual assault is until you've been unable to help someone you love. The key word isn't 'sexual', it's 'assault'.
Shit like that makes me fuckin ashamed to be a bloke. I don't know how we fix this, but I've got two suggestions for a good start - firstly, we don't do that shit. Never, there's never an excuse. Secondly, we fuckin shut down other guys, even if they're our mates, if they start with that sort of talk.
Yeah, there's wrong uns in whatever gender. But in terms of atrocity it's us men well in the lead. We gotta change that. I think we can at least fuckin try.
thanks for being one of the reasonable ones in this comment section lol. and it seems you're doing a pretty good job of trying to enact change. keep it up, it's a team effort :)
sorry to hear about your story as well, hope everything is going well for you now.
Cheers, yeah I've kinda grown into my own shit. It's caused me a lot of problems over the years, but I'm getting old now and I'm okay with stuff.
I'm just saying that anyone can get hurt like that, but it's mostly women getting hurt and it's mostly men doing the hurting. We've got to fuckin stop doing that because it is profoundly wrong.
no that's not true at all. you're supposed to talk about it, to share your stories, to go to therapy, support groups. to make online spaces to discuss and heal and grow. same as women. unfortunately, the only time I ever see men share their stories is when it takes away from a women's experience, which is disgusting as has been happening more and more on this app.
It literally does matter when you talk. If BLM groups only ever protested when there was another protest they could hijack that would garbage. Stop talking over other victims if you actually give a shit. Doing what you and arcaneslime and a bunch of other m*n here are doing has the same effect as going to a BLM protest with All Lives Matter signs
Removed, civility.
If it weren't for that "but always a man", there would be no issue. Celebrating "but always a man" is the issue driving objections here.
The problem is the sign in the thumbnail. It sure as good god fuck is not always men and you're a disgusting liar to claim that.
jesus man, not everything is about you. sure, not all men are sexual predators. easy enough to agree on. but the point is that all men have had opportunities to call their peers out on creepy behavior, whether it's catcalling, looking down on women, sexualizing them, etc. and failed. each of these 50 plus men in this story could've reported this as odd, or talked to the women and made sure she was ok, or hung around until the drugs wore off to double check, and didn't. each of them were given an opportunity and they took full advantage of it and of her. so yeah. all men have failed women at some point, and each of your MANY comments in this thread are honestly just another example of that, taking away from this poor women's story to wage your personal crusade.
Lol maybe if you're a white guy in a middle class neighborhood below the age of 60 that doesn't have any open indication of being queer or a ethnic/religious minority.
Men are much more likely to be a victim of every other violent crime besides rape.
If you think this is a conservative thing I really don't know what to tell you. Anyone who has been paying attention for the last five years could tell you that this is a problem that goes beyond political affiliation.
Said as another absolute that you shouldn't, as if PTSD doesn't exist for men that do get raped but just not as frequently.
Yes it's skewed but seriously try to avoid absolute statements like that cause it absolutely will push the same victim ignorance that we try to avoid with women comig forward and it will upset people.
Just say "most" or even the "average man"
Your comment doesn't attack the person upset it just leaves out other victims as if they don't exist.
You can edit a comment at any time and you don't have to be miserable or rude just cause someone else is.
It's the same argument people made during the black lives movement by saying all lives matter. Of course all lives matter, but right now we are talking about black lives cause they are the ones hurting. Woman are the overwhelming majority of sexual abuse victims. We are talking about them right now. I say this as a male who was a victim of abuse by an older woman.
Talking about it is never a problem, but a sign that says "always a man" is factually wrong and invisibilising, it is more harmful than helpful. It's right to point it out, I think
It's not the story in general, it's the "but always a man" that's objectionable.
This 100%. If men being raped is such a massive issue to yall, make your own protest about it, don't shit on the protests of marginalized people bc they're fighting for their own rights and not yours