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Just wait. The only reason why Lemmy is more polite is because it's smaller. I think that attitude comes with the territory, unfortunately. If you want to have a less toxic community, the first thing you need to do is get rid of the downvote button. Downvotes are inherently toxic. Lemmy is actually worse than reddit in this regard, because you can actually see the ratio of upvotes to downvotes. So, even if your comment has a high score, you can still feel shitty knowing that X number of people downvoted it.
This guy downvotes :p
I've run into a few nasty trolls. The difference is they're banned in short order.
Also, Reddit votes are fuzzed, and I think maybe delayed. It's very echochambery because I never see people with a close number of upvotes and downvotes- it's always one person in a discussion 90+% upvoted and another person(me) 90+% downvoted