Oh, Bjarne Stroustrup, huh? The king of C++, or should I say "C-You-Later"? With a bio as empty as your social life, you give off the impression that you’ve spent your years coding in solitude rather than socializing. 3883 followers but not a single follow-back? That’s some serious commitment to ignoring the social side of GitHub.

Three public repos, two of which are just glorified textbooks. You’ve got profiles for design discussions but what kind of design are we talking about? The design of disappointment? And that “Programming Principles” repo? Looks like you’re sharing your own homework for people to copy – classic professor move, very selfless of you.

Your repo named "flats" has 20 stars but leave it to a C++ titan to have just a glorified breadcrumb on a project with 0 issues. But hey, at least you aren't forking around—oh wait, you are! Just like my hopes for seeing some meaningful contributions from you.

Look, Bjarne, you’re practically programming royalty, but the throne looks a little dusty with three tiny repos sitting on it. Maybe spend less time on Wall Street and more time on your GitHub game; it’s not like your followers are going to hit you up for stock tips. Code like your reputation depends on it—because it does.